


A last goodbye's never what we're here for

by redlipsredledger



Series: Are you lost without me too? [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Bobbi Morse, BAMF Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Comics/Movie Crossover, Deaf Clint Barton, Didn't I divorce you?, Ex Drama, F/M, Fighting to Survive, Fluff and Smut, Hawkeye is a dumb ass, Hawkingbird, Hydra (Marvel), Makeup Sex, Mockingbird Appreciation, On the Run, Past Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Clint Barton, Rediscovery, Running Away, SHIELD, Sexual Tension, Touch-Starved, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:40:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22328731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlipsredledger/pseuds/redlipsredledger
Summary: She felt the gun press to the back of her head and she heard it click as a round was loaded into the chamber and immediately Bobbi Morse reacted, she spun quickly and her hand closed around the barrel of the gun; the cold of the metal was stark contrast to the shower warmed skin of her hands, she didn't pull it toward her though instead she used the element of surprise and her momentum to swing it back into the nose of her her would be attacker who - after being literally smashed in the face by a 9mm Beretta - let his grip on it go and she picked it up in his stead, aiming it for his head as he straightened up.Blood poured from his nose as he studied her and Bobbi Morse's eyes widened in shock."Clint?!" She spoke his name like an incredulous demand.Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!SHIELD has fallen, Bobbi Morse is running for her life - literally - and Clint Barton has to be the biggest pain in the ass ever with his bad timing. Some things just never change.(Check notes plsss! They're important here)
Relationships: Clint Barton/Bobbi Morse, Hawkeye/Mockingbird
Series: Are you lost without me too? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607218
Comments: 9
Kudos: 9





	1. I've been lying and I don't know why I do

**Author's Note:**

> [No one in my house will let me sleep. I'm writing to stop myself going nuts it's 4am for goodness sake! I really wanted to toy with the idea of them not seeing each other til SHIELD has fallen and she's newly divorced from Hunter and her life is just not perfect at all and have them work to fix their shiz and stay alive so...]
> 
> This series will jump around between characters for a bit but they'll end up all together eventually I just need to explain why everyone else's story is important here too.

_Shit, shit, fuck, shit!_

She dodged out of the way of a bullet and she glanced down at her gun, her clip was empty and she let out a humorless laugh and she spun on her heel throwing it dead center of her would be assassins nose, it whacked him straight on target; he wavered and that moment was all that she needed, she came to a skidding halt by his knees and she took both out with a swift turn of her left leg and she snapped his neck on the way down. Asshole.

Usually, she had many, many qualms about killing; Bobbi Morse was not the kind of person that'd ever kill if there was another option, been there, done that and all that shit. Losing yourself in the midst of terrible things happening to you wasn't something that she was unfamiliar with but she had made a promise that it wouldn't happen again and so far she'd been doing damn well at handling that promise and keeping it.

Until today. Today, she was on three kills so far and she still had to get the rest of the way out of this building yet. Someone really owed her a goddamn good explanation when she got out of here, pretty much all she'd been graced with was a quick text from Maria Hill which had exactly three words: SHIELD Fell, Run. It was hardly helpful but when people started shooting at her she guessed that it meant in the literal sense, their files had all been exposed and her cover was burned.

Trust her to be right in the midst of a mission with HYDRA at the time. She had lousy fucking timing if nothing else going for her. She huffed out a sigh and she scrambled back to reach for her batons. She was goddamn glad at the least that she had some of her equipment with her, she had no idea if it would be safe to go home after this so that probably wasn't her best bet. She had a few safe houses that weren't on her SHIELD files thankfully.

Being a spy meant that having a backup plan for life itself was pretty much a must. She was glad for that now.

Her kill count hit six by the time she reached the parking garage and she hopped on her bike, the speed limit wasn't really her priority when she was literally trying to stay ahead of two SUV's all with men with Semi's that were trying to shoot her in the middle of crowded fucking streets. No one seemed to care today who got hurt it would seem. Bless the NYPD and their efficient response times, at least when her attackers were taken care of she was able to get somewhere to ditch the bike and get into some different clothes, first thing that would have to go was the dark hair.

Heh, she was starting to become quite fond of it.... Not.

She shrugged as she ditched her bike about three blocks from the drug store, she picked up a few quick supplies to fix up her hair again and patch herself up and then she was on her way another six to her safe house, at least the closest one she had to here but she was glad for the walk because it'd give her time to think. She'd tried a few people on the burner that she kept with her but no one had been answering, of course they hadn't. Everyone knew she had one and they knew how to get a hold of her if they needed to so all she could do was wait.

Wait and hope that her friends had gotten out alive. She had gotten exactly one message besides the one that she'd gotten from Maria from Lance Hunter which quite literally read _Don't get your stupid arse shot, I hate funerals. Good Luck._ Ever the charmer that one. It was Lance Code for Keep safe but Bobbi didn't much care what her most recent ex husband had to say about absolutely anything right now, not dying was her priority and he was safe halfway around the world never having officially worked for SHIELD to begin with so no one would be looking for him.

Lucky him. 

She'd tried Coulson then Fury, Maria had been the only one out of the three that had eventually answered their goddamn burner after she'd tried about 19 times. Literally. Bobbi was growing more and more frustrated by the second and she listened sat on the edge of a bed as Maria Hill explained to her that HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD and that Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers had brought the whole damn thing down on everyone's heads while trying to stop a psychotic assassin.

Just another day at the office then... Or y'know it would be if there _was_ an office anymore.

"So what the hell do we do next?" Bobbi questioned irately.

"Stay low, keep your head down and I'll do what I can for you." Maria replied weakly.

Bobbi let out a humorless laugh.

"Yeah, sure I'll just go down to Costco and see if they'll give me a job greeting customers on weekends for $4.95 an hour." She muttered sourly.

Maria laughed at that.

"That isn't what we mean and you know it." Maria sounded a little calmer at least.

Bobbi smiled at that.

"Made you laugh so it worked. Stay safe, Maria. Call me if you run into any trouble." Bobbi always liked Maria.

"Thanks, Morse. Take care of yourself." With that, Maria Hill hung up and Bobbi Morse meandered into the bathroom to wash off her hair dye and to jump into the shower.

The torrent of boiling hot water was enough for her to forget for a moment that when she stepped out of here she may as well literally be stepping into the fires of hell itself but it wasn't exactly anywhere that she hadn't been before, they all knew the hazards of a life like this but she was glad at the torrent of water going to work on the tightened muscles in her neck and her shoulders; she could use a fucking massage and a month long vacation on some beach somewhere.

Hell, maybe now was as good a time as any to split and just find a nice quiet beach to ride out this whole shitstorm on. Not likely she knew but it was nice to have that little moment of idealism before you were forced to face the fact that pretty much every single person you'd ever crossed now knew exactly where to find you to kill you and with her, there were a hell of a lot of those. She had a way with people.

And by way, that was a way of pissing them off. Ask both of her ex husbands and they'd both strongly agree.

Padding around with a towel drying out the ends of her renewed blonde hair in a tank top and a pair of underwear was probably a little - or you know, a lot - less prepared for attack than she should have been but she'd literally just gotten out of a shower and as far as Bobbi Morse was aware, no one knew she even had this place because she'd had it for that damn long and it wasn't in any of her files. She didn't speak to almost anyone these days, Hunter had been probably the closest bond that Bobbi had until the two of them had called it quits.

Skye, she quite liked Coulsons pseudo-daughter and Melinda May but May had taught her when she'd first joined SHIELD and she kept in close contact with both May and Coulson. It was habit more than anything so naturally she'd sent May an encoded message with her most recent contact details and all she could do was hope like hell that they made it out of all of this safe and alive; she didn't want to have to bury any more friends.

The life of a spy was a dangerous one but these people were the closest thing that she had to family. She didn't have much to do with her own for obvious reasons, this wasn't the kind of life that anyone could really understand and she didn't want them dragged into it so she'd put distance there for their sakes.

None of them knew a damn thing about her anymore anyway, she wasn't anything close to the person that they would have even remembered even if they didn't think that she was dead. She had died and she'd become something else entirely in amongst all of that, gotten divorced, dated her ex husband, broke up, dated someone else, got married... They didn't know a damn thing about her life but the last 16 years of it had been pure chaos at its best.

Hell at its worst.

Bobbi Morse wasn't human anymore much less the girl that they'd known. That small town gal with the charming smile was dead and gone. She rolled her eyes at even the thought of it. 

She tossed the towel onto the bed as she stretched out sore muscles; she was glad that she'd gotten a shower when she'd decided to dye her hair because otherwise she felt pretty sure she was going to wind up smelling of smoke and blood and they were two of her least favorite scents. Instead, she smelled like sweet apple and Vanilla which was something that she was quite happy about; she was never particularly girly but she did quite like that option better than the former.

She sat down again and she reached for her phone, flipping through the news as she mulled over reaching for the TV remote and deciding to see the chaos for herself; an internal argument ensued for a good few minutes about whether or not it was a good idea before she surrendered and turned on the TV. She watched as faces she'd known her whole career popped up on screens accusing them of crimes and sins that the world would never forgive them for.

They conveniently forgot to mention what it had been for or the lives that had been saved by those actions though. Her expression became angry and bitter and she cursed at the woman that spoke, the one with the smug expression that was acting like all SHIELD agents were just barely sanctioned terrorists, she knew absolutely nothing about what people like her did to keep people like that smug bitch safe and alive and the anger that bubbled inside of her was like a volcano. Anger that distracted her.

She felt the gun press to the back of her head and she heard it click as a round was loaded into the chamber and immediately Bobbi Morse reacted, she spun quickly and her hand closed around the barrel of the gun; the cold of the metal was stark contrast to the shower warmed skin of her hands, she didn't pull it toward her though instead she used the element of surprise and her momentum to swing it back into the nose of her her would be attacker who - after being literally smashed in the face by a 9mm Beretta - let his grip on it go and she picked it up in his stead, aiming it for his head as he straightened up.

Blood poured from his nose as he studied her and Bobbi Morse's eyes widened in shock.

" _Clint?!_ " She spoke his name like an incredulous demand.

_Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!_

Bobbi glowered at her ex husband as she tossed the gun on the bed and plucked up the towel, walking toward him as she held it out; he snatched it out of her hands and shot her a glare which earned him a dramatic sigh as she rolled her eyes.

"You pointed a gun at the back of my head, asshole." She reminded him with an indifferent shrug.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway?" She demanded then, tilting her head as she studied him.

He held up his finger to let her know that he'd answer her when he'd managed to stem the bleeding. She hadn't broken his nose she'd just bust it. She hadn't hit him in the right place to break it and it hadn't been nearly as hard as she could have hit and they both knew it. He'd been an utter dumbass not only to even come here in the first place but to point a gun at her when he did. She shook her head at him as she watched him sit down and she sat in front of him.

After a few long minutes, he moved the towel away from his face and he screwed up his nose and shook his head before he heaved a sigh.

"What the fuck, Bob!" He sounded about as irritated as she felt.

" _Wha- What?!_ " She snapped, trying to control her temper.

" _You_ burst in here literally pointed a gun at my head and somehow that's _my_ fault?! How the hell does that even work in your stupid little brain?" She could feel her anger threatening to explode.

This time it was him that rolled his eyes though she could see from the wince that he quickly wished he hadn't done it. A smug smirk settled on her features.

"I didn't think you'd still use this place. I needed somewhere to resupply. SHIELD- Well I'm gonna guess you being here means you already know." This had been somewhere she'd set up when they'd still been married and he honestly hadn't thought that she'd be here of all places.

It made sense though, it was pretty much opposite side of the city to her apartment, he should've just gone to one of the ones they'd set up closer to his place. He sighed and shook his head, he was glad that he'd managed to get a call in to Kate warning her to be careful. 

"I had kinda heard, yeah." She replied sarcastically.

She looked at him and noted the way that he looked at her and she huffed out a sigh and reached out to place her hand on his knee, she offered him an apologetic smile. She knew how worried he must be right now, it was his team out there that had done this, his best friend that had taken the hit and that had released all of the information and taken down the only home that any of them had for as long as she'd known any of them. Clint hadn't had a home before SHIELD, he'd been some wayward criminal...

Natasha had been some wayward assassin and her? She'd been buried in a pile of rubble and left to die. SHIELD had saved them all and now they were out in the cold with nowhere to turn and no idea who to trust and she could tell from the look in his eyes that he was thinking the same thing that she was: They couldn't even trust each other.

"I'm not HYDRA, Jackass. I was undercover with them when I got blown but that's as far as my involvement with them goes." She couldn't believe she was having to say that.

"Yeah well neither am I." He muttered defensively.

She let out a laugh and shook her head.

"Yeah, no shit. I would've known if you were." She replied with an easy shrug.

"Oh yeah?" 

She nodded in response to his words.

"Yeah, you always have this little tell when you're lying to me." She replied with a grin.

"What tell?" He sounded self conscious.

She reached out to brush her fingers lightly down the side of his face.

"The vein right here in your temple..." She allowed her finger to flutter over it. "Always throbs just a little because you flex your jaw when you lie."

She let her hand drop back to her lap and she watched the way his eyes followed it. She studied him then for the first time since he'd come in here and she reached out to brush just a drop of blood from his cheek.

"Sorry about your nose." She spoke softly.

He shrugged slightly and his hand reached up to cup hers, he shook his head gently. She could read it in his eyes that he was worried about her and a gentle smile touched her features; she felt his thumb brush over her knuckles and she released a gentle breath.

"Don't worry about it, Birdie. You did what you had to when you thought your life was in danger. Thanks for not just killing me, it was a dumb move." He conceded with a wry smile.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at him but she let out a small laugh anyway, he grinned then. He'd told her every damn day that they'd been together that any day he could make her laugh even just once was a good day. A soft smile touched her features as the recollection.

"Yeah, it was." She replied, her tongue traced along her bottom lip as she glanced up at him.

Her eyes caught his and her brow furrowed softly.

"Why here, Clint? You know I've got dozens of places around the city and so have you, why here?" Naturally, she was curious. She was bound to be.

"It was the first place I thought of when I heard everything went to shit again. Guess it was 'cause it was the last place that you set up before we broke up. It musta stuck in my head I guess." He explained. It made sense.

She moved to pull her hand out of his but he pulled her forward, clearly underestimating the strength he used because she knocked him so that he lay with his back flat against his mattress and she was laid quite literally on top of him. She let out a small laugh and moved to pull away.

He stopped her again.

"Why's it gotta take an emergency to get you in a room with me these days?" Damn right he was going to ask her while he had her this close.

She always had more problems lying to him if she had to look him in the eye when she did it.

"Because I've been avoiding you for the last 7 years. You know I got remarried right? I did that whole mess with you for 9 years Clint. Divorce number two made me pretty set on not ever getting into a damn mess with any guy again. Ever." One had sucked but two? That really kicked her.

"Y'know I missed you." He spoke carefully.

She fought to keep her expression controlled. She failed. She flicked her eyes to the side.

"Don't." Out of the corner of her eye, she watched his eyes move to her lips.

She chewed gently on her bottom one out of instinct.

"Bobs..." Clint started, she placed her finger against his lips to quiet him.

"Don't." She spoke her soft warning again.

He placed a kiss against her finger before his hand moved to move hers and he leaned up to crash his lips against hers, one hand moved to the back of her neck while the other held the top of her right thigh. One of her hands knotted in his shirt and the other held her propped up so that she wasn't literally, directly laid on top of him.

Not that the little room her leverage put between the two of them made even a tiny bit of damn difference... He pulled back with a lingering kiss before he did and he glanced up at her with that stupid fucking goofy little smile he had that had always drove her nuts. His hands didn't move at all though.

Her breath was heavy, ragged and her heart was racing in her chest.

"All you gotta say is you don't want this and I ain't gonna push it." He'd never stopped loving her, she knew that.

He just needed to feel her close even if it was just for a goddamn second. Even if it was the last time he ever would, he just needed that one moment right there and that would have to be enough for him if that was all he ever got. She made the mistake of moving just a little and he brushed against her... Bobbi released a frustrated groan.

She slid her hand slowly up his chest to rest it against his cheek.

"I do want it." When would she ever stop? That was always the fucking problem wasn't it?

They could swear they hated each other until one of them kissed the other and then just like that, it was always game over.


	2. She's a bullet that's about to fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saved by the bell for now... How exactly can someone love someone and hate them at the same time? Welcome to the relationship between Bobbi Morse and Clint Barton.
> 
> AKA Mr and Mrs Barton aren't through with their marital issues just yet and he's too much of a sweet talker.
> 
> At least she didn't sleep with him... Yet.

Saved by the bell, or you know the buzz anyway.

Bobbi placed a hand flat against his chest and pushed him back before she reached over his head for her phone and hauled herself to her feet trying her damn best to compose herself as she stared at it for a moment before answering, Melinda May's voice broke through the other end and she heaved a sigh as she looked back at Barton and rolled her eyes at him. None of that should have happened. None of it. She was glad - frustrated but glad - that May's impeccable timing was as perfect as ever.

Bobbi Morse did _not_ need to be repeating that mistake right now. She kicked herself for wanting to though. He always, always seemed to bring out her dumber more reckless side and she despised him for it. May spoke but didn't say much of anything specific beyond the fact that she was in San Antonio and that was the last place that she'd been on mission before all of this went down, Bobbi made a joke about her trying to fix her marriage and call her husband which was met with a disapproving grumble but she chuckled anyway.

It took her mind off of yet another one of her far too close calls. She paced the room listening to her friend speak, taking in every part of her instruction when she informed her that the safest thing she could do at this point was keep moving and keep her head down, it was a sentiment that Bobbi wholly agreed with because none of them knew just how deep HYDRA went and no one knew for sure who they could trust anymore but she'd trusted Melinda May since she'd been a dumb 20 year old scientist pulled out of the rubble of a burning AIM lab.

She had no reason _not_ to trust Melinda and Melinda knew Bobbi well enough to know that she wasn't the traitor type. She'd already worked for the wrong person once, she knew what Bobbi had riding on staying in the right moral lane. All she'd tried to do was make amends since she'd joined SHIELD.

"-I'm with Barton." Bobbi sighed as May asked her where she was anyway, hoping clearly that she wasn't still in New York.

There was a pause and Bobbi could swear she could hear Melinda roll her eyes.

"Tell him if he gets you killed I'll kill him myself." She knew how much Melinda cared.

The words brought a smile to her face. It was Melinda's way of telling her that she absolutely _had_ to stay alive.

"You too, Mel. We're gonna fix this right?" Bobbi realised in that moment just how much she held to other people whether she truly intended it or not.

She listened to Melinda sigh and she shook her head at herself; she saw the foolishness in the question and she murmured _yeah_ softly before she breathed out a sigh and ran her free hand through her hair. Clint reached out for her hand as she dropped it back to her side but she pulled it away.

"Go. Get out of New York, Bobbi." And with that, Melinda May ended their call.

Bobbi Morse stared uselessly at the quickly darkening screen on her phone and she gripped it in her hand counting to ten in her head as she fought the urge to throw it at the wall and scream. _Get out of New York._ That would be a goddamn good start. She dragged in a deep breath and she shook her head fighting through the haze in her mind and she shook her head. Get ready, get out. Go. Don't be an easy target.

Almost as though business mode was the only thing that was going to save her, Bobbi Morse turned blue eyes toward her ex husband and she studied him; she kept a distance between the two of them now though.

"Where are you going now?" She spoke in a measured tone. 

He frowned at her and pushed himself off of the bed and to his feet, he shook his head at her and reached out to brush her shoulder gently with his finger. There was just the smallest hint of a sad smile on her features as she looked up at him and it broke his heart.

"Come with me, Bob." He sounded so helpless as he spoke.

She turned two blue orbs upward to his face and a soft expression settled over her troubled features and she shook her head once, twice, three times... No. No, she couldn't do that and she couldn't do it exactly because she wanted to so badly. 

"We've done this before, Clint. We can't. We _don't_ work." She felt like the words cut her physically. 

She retreated a step, wrapping her arms around herself for comfort. He shook his head then defiantly and he stepped forward and engulfed her slight frame in his arms as his chin rested against the top of his head, he felt her arms move and they wrapped around him and he held the ghost of a smile on his lips as he closed his eyes and focussed on nothing but the beating of her heart. It was the most familiar sound in the world to him and yet the one that he hadn't heard in far too long.

It was probably his second or third favorite sound, maybe forth if he was going to be smart and put it in a proper order right after the way she sounded when she laughed or the gentle lilt she had to her accent when she said his name or that sound she made right when he hit a sensitive spot just right and she melted... He missed having her close to him so damn badly. He mulled over her words and a part of it at least was true: They didn't work but it wasn't because he didn't love her.

It wasn't because she didn't love him.

It was because she was an idiot and so was he, both of them had done a lot of really dumb shit over the years, they'd been through a lot together and apart and he'd made a choice that had changed everything for her and to this day he still wasn't sure how to live with that but he'd handled everything from thereon all wrong; he should've been more supportive over her, he should've been there for her more but he was an idiot.

He let fear get the better of him and he ended up pushing her away and they had this goddamn issue when they argued where none of them knew when to back down because they were just too stubborn. They were just too fiery but that didn't mean that he had stopped loving her, nope. Not even for one second. Bobbi Morse was the love of his life and he knew it. He ran his tongue across his lip.

"We don't work because we're both too stubborn to say I was wrong. _I was wrong,_ Bobs. I was wrong. I messed up bad and I get that. I turned my back on you, I was an asshole and I got all judgey and I didn't be who I promised you I'd be but that don't mean we can't fix it. Subconsciously I came here 'cause I was looking for you and we both know it. Shit goes to hell and I find a way to run and find you anyways. I love you. You know I love you. I can't stand here watching the world we know burn down not knowing what'll happen to you if we walk out of here and go our separate ways and I won't be okay with that. Don't ask me to be okay with that, you know I can't do that. I won't watch you walk away and worry that it'll be the last time. I want - No, I _need -_ you to listen to me: Come with me. Dont leave alone this time." He pulled back, taking both her hands in his.

"I love you Bobbi Morse. I love you. Don't ask me to watch you walk away and spend the rest of whatever life we may or may not have being scared the next time I see you may be in a goddamn grave." He couldn't do that and she had to know he couldn't do it.

The words burned him like acid.

"Don't do that." She whispered gently. She shook her head.

"Do what?" He replied, his brow furrowed as he spoke. "Tell you that I won't let you die alone out there?"

"Tell me that you'll be my reason to live." He could hear the pain that laced her tone all too clearly. "I can't let you hurt me again."

He placed a finger beneath her chin and he glanced down at her making sure that she held his eyes and he moved his head gently from one side to the other in a soft movement of refusal and he smiled then, the saddest most haunted smile that she'd seen on his face since he'd told her that he'd signed their divorce papers and she fought not to pull back into herself again. They'd both been through so much, seven years had elapsed since they'd split up last time, she'd been remarried and everything but him?

Flings and pointless one night stands because not a damn thing could compare to her. Nothing could compare to how much he loved her or how much he'd loved her since the first day that he'd met her. Love at first sight shit wasn't something he'd believed in until he'd had a rookie kick his ass and put him flat on his back when he'd gotten a little arrogant with her telling her she looked a little too pretty and too breakable to be in the gym. He'd never been so damn happy to have his ass kicked.

He'd loved her from that day on, he loved her mind, her smile, her laugh, he loved the way that she treat everything with such an air of wonder like there was still something magic out there in the world but then she'd been young; Bobbi had been still so idealistic back then because while the world had left its marks on her even back then, it hadn't killed every ounce of innocence inside of her just yet. A lot had changed since that day and he'd broken that beautiful girl that he'd met that day and he hated himself for it.

But never, not even for one second in amongst the pain and the anger and the frustrations had he ever, ever stopped loving her and he knew he just wasn't capable of it. He knew he just wasn't capable of honestly ever stopping loving her and he was glad for that. He'd live forever loving her even if she never loved him back again just because it beat the hell out of the emptiness he'd had before her.

"I ain't gonna break your wings ever again, Birdie. I messed up bad but I can't make it stop, I can't turn it off. I can't stop loving you, I don't know how and I don't wanna. I'll do every damn thing I have to do to prove it to you but this is me here and now swearing that I'm the _biggest_ dipshit on the planet but I love you Bobbi Morse and I will never, never stop. I'll never hurt you again I swear." He'd never stop hating himself for every time he had either.

Love was strange. Love was pain and punishment in and of itself and he'd take every goddamn ounce of it for her sake gladly.

Ah hell. She nodded her head gently, what more could she do? She didn't want to do all of this alone, she was more than capable of it but the truth was that she'd worry just as much for him as he did for her because that was always the way with them, even if he hadn't been here at some point or another she'd have looked him up and tracked him down just to make sure that he was okay and that he was safe. She knew that she'd ultimately turn to him in one way or another.

She knew that with this world on fire around them, she'd make sure that he was safe from the ravaging flames because she loved him too much to watch him burn. He was hers and she was his and that had never changed, not even when she'd married Hunter and she felt guilty for that. She truly, truly felt guilty and she'd known that she shouldn't have married anyone else because she wasn't over Clint and she never would be but she'd been trying to bury that pain in something and trying for a fresh start almost seemed like a good idea.

It wasn't, but for a beautiful moment it almost was.

It was an escape that she'd been craving and instead she'd just managed to open up more wounds inside of her she could've been doing without but she had never really been the queen of health coping mechanisms. Hunter pointed out more times than she cared to note that her idea of _dealing with a problem_ was to run away from it and he wasn't wrong, it had been something she'd done since she was a child because her parents weren't all that much better.

It could of course be the fact that her goddamn insane world meant that she went through more than most people were capable of understanding; she saw the way that Hunter looked at her and it was more with fear and mistrust than anything else and it had nothing to do with her being a spy, it had everything though to do with the fact that she was _different_ and people didn't get that. Clint may have looked at her once like that but it was exactly that: Once. It wasn't seeing it every goddamn day.

"I swear if you screw up even _once_ I'll shoot you myself." She warned gently as she inhaled a deep breath. "We need to get ready to go."

Clint had that stupid grin on his face again. She shot him a glare and hit him in the arm, he laughed and shook his head.

"You're not wearing clothes, pretty lady. I mean, I love seeing you in _way less_ but honestly I think if you're gonna be running for your life you _might_ want pants on at least. Maybe shoes for good measure." He reasoned, maintaining his smirk anyway.

She glanced down at herself and huffed out a sigh. She'd been so preoccupied with everything else that she'd forgotten about that. She rolled her eyes at herself and cursed softly under her breath in at least four different languages. Clint Barton let out a loud bark of laughter as he watched her move around the room looking for her belongings, his sudden outburst earned him a shoe at the head but he dodged it easily. She hadn't meant to hit him though and he knew it. He scooped it up from the floor and walked over to hold it out to her as she hopped around trying to tie the other one, his hand swooped around her waist to steady her.

"Don't knock that pretty brain of yours, we both know you're the smart one. You need to come up with a better plan than the half assed one I had."

"You had a plan?" She retorted playfully. "I mean beyond getting me to save your ass because you're _hopeless_ without me."

"Then nope, nope I did not have a plan." He grinned as she spoke. 

She knew he was just trying to help her and keep her mind at ease, she also knew he was just trying to distract himself. She had no idea if he'd heard from any of his friends and she knew it was his best friend directly in the firing line and she had no idea what had really happened because she didn't tend to get involved with that whole mess, avoiding him meant she avoided anything to do with the whole Avengers initiative and that meant that she didn't make a habit of getting involved in any of their missions.

She knew he was worried, she could see it in his eyes but if she asked him about it it could very well make him freeze up and she didn't need that either right now. Getting out of the city limits would be a good start, they could talk on the road. 

"Bobs?" He questioned softly.

She turned to look at him.

"Yeah?" 

He let out a small yawn before he walked over and leaned to kiss her forehead.

"Just want you to know I love you is all."

Ah to hell with you, Barton. Run now, figure this crap out later. Run now, deal with life later.

Run now, live later.

Run.


	3. Sometimes it's like I hardly know you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobbi Morse has some interesting friends as Clint Barton is about to learn but at least they now have a plan on where they're going to go... Even all these years later, he's still learning a hell of a lot about her. Sometimes being in love with a woman like Bobbi Morse means life is a constant learning curve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend has this adorable headcanon that Bobbi just randomly ends up entwined in peoples lives in the most odd and sometimes human ways and he has this cute little headcanon that Frank Castle is basically her pseudo-brother and neither of them have ever told anyone that information so I promised him I'd put it in lmao! He's having a bad week xD Anyway none of that crops up again later so ^.^
> 
> OH and I'm working on writing something with Nat that runs concurrent with this on where she is/what she's doing and what'll happen when she joins up with the rest of the group who (hopefully) will find their way to one another. We shall see!

The main reason backseat driving was fun? Revenge. He was the _biggest_ pain in the ass on the planet to her at the best of times so naturally, she sat beside him picking away at her sandwich as she critiqued pretty much every damn thing he did. She could see it was starting to get on his nerves and she offered him a bright triumphant smile when he eventually cracked and asked her to stop. A burst of laughter broke her lips and she shrugged when he asked her if she was purposely trying to drive him crazy.

"Maybe a little bit." She replied brightly. "Besides, you used to do it to me all the time and it drove me nuts."

She watched the way that he rolled his eyes at her and she burst out laughing again. They'd been driving for a good 3 hours and in truth they hadn't decided where they were headed just yet. She'd told him that she had to meet with a contact to get some paperwork sorted and pick up money, she had a plan to get the hell out of the country and head to one of her many safe houses scattered around Europe somewhere simply for a change of scenery and he'd been seemingly down for that.

She knew enough people to acquire a private plane and so did he and they knew that getting out of the country that way was going to be the safer route for both of them considering what they were both running from and all that, they'd sort of come up with some kind of plan which was a new one for them especially when they had a habit of arguing more than they actually got on when it came to that shit, so they were sort of halfway in the middle of a debate about fake names when she'd decided it was way more fun to drive him utterly insane. She had been right, it was far more fun and so she'd decided it was an hour well spent. 

"Where are we even going anyway?" Clint complained after about 20 minutes of silence while Bobbi quite happily sung along to the radio.

He'd almost forgot she loved to do that, she didn't sing loud enough for anyone to hear her but she did it to herself and he'd always found it quite cute.

"Just drive, I'll tell give you directions and tell you when to stop. I have someone I need to see, they're helping us out." She replied 

He didn't seem to like that answer because he rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath about it. She spent the next 90 minutes giving him directions on where to go as she promised she would but she wouldn't tell him anything no matter how many times he asked.

By the time night rolled around and they pulled into a roadside bar in Alabama she was about ready to sleep for a week but she hauled her ass out of the car and leaned against it as she watched the man that emerged from it waving an envelope at her that was abruptly dropped to the floor when the blonde ran forward and flung herself at him, he pulled her into a hug and laughed before pulling away to look at her and his expression softened into a fond smile.

"Yeah, I missed you too pretty girl. You doin' okay?" He assessed her as he spoke and she nodded.

"Yeah, running for my life just _great!_ " She rolled her eyes but grinned anyway. "Now I'm on your side of the fence."

"Not quite, way less murder charges." The man retorted and Bobbi laughed.

"Y'know I offered to help you with those." She spoke seriously for a moment. He waved at her dismissively though.

"And risk your career for me? Nah. I got out of it. I got you fake papers for you and the dipshit. I've left a number in there you can get me on if something goes wrong..." He sounded worried, she shook her head and patted his arm.

"I'm gonna be just fine, you know me better than that. I'm not going down that easily." She replied, attempting to soothe his concerns but she could tell from the evidently worried look on his face that it hadn't helped half as much as she'd hoped it would.

"Yeah you'd better not, I made a promise a long time ago to keep you outta trouble kid. Don't go making me into a liar now." His hand found her cheek, he brushed it lightly and she offered him a warm smile.

"You keep moving, you got me? Move the damn second something looks like it ain't right and keep moving til it does again. I'll be a call away no matter where you are. I promised you when you were a dumb 15 year old kid that you ain't ever gonna be on your own and I'll keep that promise, you know that." He sounded protective.

Clint frowned gently as he watched the exchange, she hadn't mentioned this person to him at all through all the years that they'd been together and yet it was evident that whoever he was, he meant a great deal to Bobbi and she did to him. 

Bobbi gave him one final hug and she pulled back with a sigh, he leaned down to pluck up the envelope as he handed it to her.

"I mean it kid, you call me if something goes wrong. I've got your back and I'll be there in a heartbeat." He reached out to squeeze her hand gently and she nodded.

"I know, thank you for this. I really appreciate it. You take care too though? Don't go getting yourself into any trouble."

"Go on, get outta here." He inclined his head toward the car but he handed her a gun anyway. "It's clean, untraceable. Go."

Bobbi accepted both and she turned back to get into the car, a sigh heaved her chest and she closed her eyes for a moment dropping both items on the floor in front of her as she ran her hands through her hair out of frustration. She glanced out of the window for a moment as her eyes opened and Clint started the car, one final wave and the man disappeared back inside of the bar leaving her to turn to face her ex husband who looked altogether confused.

"Who was-" He started to speak, she cut him off.

"Frank Castle. He knows my brother, Castle and I met when I was 15 when Ben enlisted. They were in the same unit for four years so, I met Castle when he was barely scraping his mid-20's. Saw him get married, lose his wife and kids... He's always been good to me."

"The _Punisher?_ " Clint stared open mouthed at her.

Bobbi rolled her eyes and hit him in the arm.

"Frank is a good man. Kinda messed up but he's always taken care of me. You can think what you want but I've known him for 21 years and not once in all that time has he done a damn thing to hurt me so, I'm inclined to trust him." 

The conversation was ended there with the tone of her voice and she turned to stare out of the window as they carried on driving and she released a sigh. That had been the first time in about 10 years that she'd had to ask Frank Castle for absolutely anything and she'd hoped like hell that the next time she'd get the chance to see him things would be a lot better. She didn't keep in contact with a whole lot of people that knew her _before_ but Castle was just as much a part of this world of theirs as she was or even Clint. He seemed a safe bet.

After about 45 minutes, she turned blue eyes to look at Clint and she offered him a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry, I was an ass." He spoke and she glanced at him for a moment before she sighed and nodded.

She leaned down to pick up the envelope and poured the contents onto her lap and she poked through it.

"Most people think he's just a bad guy but I was just a dumb kid when I met him, Ben brings this grumpy ass looking guy home for dinner with him one night 'cause they're in town anyways and mom is being mom and it'd been a rough day. I looked like a shit, it'd been a few days since I got hurt and-" He knew that part of that story. He knew what had happened to her. 

She shook her head.

"He came over to ask me if I was okay, some quiet little withdrawn teenager that tried their best to bullshit it and tell him she was just fine but I wasn't. I had a lot to deal with, Frank became like-" She cut off as she thought about what she wanted to say.

"He looked out for me. Dealt with the court case with me, made sure that I knew that if I ever felt scared or alone or I was in a mess again he'd do all he could to help me with that and that never stopped, not even when I grew up, not when I joined SHIELD, none of it. He's always kept his word, whatever I needed whenever I needed it no questions asked." That was something most people didn't seem to see, Frank Castle was a man of honor.

He always kept his word. He'd helped her through a tough time and he was like another crazy protective older brother and one that she knew she could call when life went to hell and he'd just _be_ there because she asked him to be. She didn't care who he'd turned into after that just as he didn't care who she'd turned into, they both cared anyway and they'd pull each others ass out of the fire if they need it.

"He's worked sometimes with Nat." Clint commented and he watched Bobbi nod.

"Yeah, he told me. Frank is a good man, Clint. I know the reputation before you say anything but c'mon, are any of us really _that_ squeaky clean?" Hell, she knew she wasn't.

Natasha wasn't either. They'd all done things that they weren't proud of and quite a few times they'd walked into that morally grey area that none of them had ever really come out of even if they'd tried to convince themselves they had, they'd still killed people when there had been other ways to deal with it they just didn't do it as openly as he did. Well, she and Clint didn't anyway. People like Frank and Natasha were what they were, it was - as many would say - hardwired into who they were.

That didn't make them bad people, it just meant that they knew what had to be done and when.

"I'm not going to debate your friends with you, Bob. I'm just gonna say be careful." He glanced over at her then. He could see she was fighting laughter but instead she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Did that look like he was gonna hurt me? I'm the annoying kid sister, it's not like I'm some psychotic murderer on his radar. He helps me because he cares." Because he'd met a dumb kid that had been beaten by some high school jock asshole and was too scared to go through with a court case to have him prosecuted on her own. She hadn't been nearly as brave as she was now back then, she was just a kid and she'd already been through hell.

He'd met her again as a rookie SHIELD agent after the whole AIM Lab fire incident and he didn't give a damn how different she was or how different their lives were he still told her that his promise stood, he'd be there for her if she ever needed anything and that, that had been unchanging now for 21 years. He was probably actually her oldest friend at this point.

"No, I don't think he's gonna hurt you but he's not exactly a safe bet to be around." That time she glared at him.

"Neither are we anymore, idiot." Being around them was dangerous now too. "And yet he didn't give a damn about the heat he could've gotten from getting us fake documentation, he did it anyway." 

She had dozens of other people she could have asked for the help she'd asked him for and Clint knew her well enough to know that there was an underlying reason for it too. He reached over to squeeze her leg with his hand.

"You didn't want him to worry if you disappeared." Clint spoke, finding some sense of understanding. He watched her nod.

"We keep tabs on each other. I didn't want him thinking the worst and he knows about SHIELD falling." It wasn't fair to worry someone that cared for her. She didn't have all that many people around that actually gave a damn about her so she was inclined to hold onto the ones that did.

"We cool?" He asked eventually.

"Of course." 

"We need to get to New Orleans, flight out in the morning wherever we wanna go." Clint yawned but didn't take his eyes off the road anyway.

"Well, looks like we need to pick a destination."

"Anywhere." He grinned, she glared at him like she wanted to strangle him and he laughed.

"How 'bout we go back to Vienna? You love the museums and all that crap and I never did get to give you a proper honeymoon." 

"We're not married anymore." She reminded him with rolled eyes. "And we're not _getting_ married again either."

Absolutely not. Never again.

"'Kay fine grumpy butt, how about uh..." He scratched his head. He actually looked quite adorable.

"Switzerland?" Bobbi offered thoughtfully. "Lots of potentially remote places to disappear to if we need to go into the mountains to get away from everything if anyone follows or finds us..."

They were both trained in them conditions anyway.

He tilted his head this way and then that and then a grin settled on his features and he nodded.

"Switzerland is good. Very pretty... Ain't it?" He looked at her then and she let out a small pity laugh.

Clint Barton played dumb when he in fact wasn't. She'd let him have it though. It had been a hell of a 48 hours and they were both tired as hell and she was more than happy to get somewhere - anywhere really - that wasn't here where they could take just a day or two to unwind. America was a big country with lots of places to get lost in but Bobbi Morse was a smart girl, she knew that if the people looking for you had cells all over the world your best bet was to go to the places hardest to put those cells.

Middle of snowy mountain ranges tended to be safe bets, besides she loved to ski and to ice skate. She was quite graceful when she wanted to be. Him? He was a desert rat - his words - and he hated the cold but she didn't mind it so much. It was quite sweet that he was willing to tolerate it for her sake.

"Are you gonna leave info for anyone or?" She questioned softly.

He looked thoughtful for a moment before he nodded his head.

"Yeah, I'll leave some info for Nat. Captain Rogers is with Sharon Carter I think. They've got some newbie hero with them, Tasha said he helped them when everything went to shit. She's in the middle of something she wouldn't tell me about but it's Tasha." He shrugged, that was nothing new. She'd tell him when she was ready he was sure.

"Agent 13?" Bobbi sounded almost shocked as she spoke, Clint nodded his head though and offered her a confused look.

"No, it's nothing bad I- Sharon and I are friends. We trained together, she's nice. I like her." She hadn't seen her and Rogers coming though. Huh.

"She's really good at her job, we've run missions together before." She'd always thought Sharon to be a very capable agent and she was a decent person too.

"Huh." Clint blinked and nodded his head gently. "That's cool." 

Clearly he hadn't known that information before, Bobbi rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. He was learning a whole damn lot about her tonight, he'd only really met Sharon in passing.

"So uh, where exactly are we going to stay?" Barton looked confused as he spoke. "I don't think hotels are a good idea even with fake names."

He had a point and she knew it but that had never been her plan.

"I have a house out there." She shrugged her shoulders. He raised a brow as he studied her.

"How the heck do you have a house out there?" Naturally he was going to ask that, Bobbi laughed.

"Poker game."

"No, seriously, how?" Clint rolled his eyes at her.

"No seriously, poker game. Old contact of mine." She replied with a grin.

"You are terrifying Birdie, did anyone ever tell you that?" He shook his head, he was half impressed half concerned. She never ceased to amaze him.

"A few times but it really isn't my fault he had _such_ an obvious tell, besides he got his moneys worth out of it when I helped him deal with something a couple years later." She waved her hand dismissively.

"Not like he had much to be mad about, he owns places all over Europe. Could've played him for his place in Monte Carlo so he got off easy." She had no idea how he had a place out there with how terrible he was at poker but that wasn't her problem.

"Seriously, you scare me." Barton shook his head as he spoke, offering her a playful grin. "It's kinda sexy."

"Just drive, Romeo. We'll deal with your libido later."

Later huh? He could deal with that.


	4. She's the steady that'll keep you sane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just a filler chapter with a sex scene I tried to keep as brief as possible because honestly I'm going through a whole thing mentally rn xD Reassurance appreciated.

It was the first time in days that they'd stopped and she was glad that they'd finally reached their destination.

Last night had been _heaven._ The closest goddamn thing that she'd had to a good night's sleep now in months, undercover work meant a whole hell of a lot of looking over your shoulder and constant paranoia. It didn't allow for much by way of rest and relaxation and because of that, Bobbi Morse had been glad to reach a place that no one could reach without expending a whole hell of a lot of effort.

It was safe.

It was her safest bet in any case. Clint had complained for a good few hours about the cold before she finally proved to him that once they got the fire going it'd warm up quickly. He'd been sceptical but forced to apologise when she'd been proved right. She knew it had bugged the shit out of him too.

Hot showers also helped with that and a decent meal, she _could_ cook she just didn't like to all too often so Clint had taken that one.

She released a lazy yawn as she glanced over the back of the sofa and watched him meander around the place just looking around out of the windows, she shook her head.

He was like a kid sometimes.

He never failed to amuse her though. He had made a number of comments in the last few minutes about the scenery - how he found it beautiful then how he found it concerning - about avalanches and about being stuck out here in the middle of nowhere.

Her house was literally miles away from everything (But they both loved snowmobiles so it was all good) and surrounded by trees, nestled by mountains and there was a ski resort about five miles away. It was a hike but it was at least a way out of here if they needed it.

This place was one of those off the map custom built places with 6 bedrooms 4 baths and a whole hell of a lot more room than she'd ever need that you couldn't honestly find if you either didn't know where it was or have the coordinates already and so, she was glad at the very least that they wouldn't be disturbed anytime soon by anyone wanting to take cheap potshots and bag a few prizes.

She was _not_ going to die to be someone's goddamn ego boost or foot up in whatever shitty ass world had decided to take over killing off remnants of SHIELD. She had no doubt someone would, the people that had gained reputations would probably end up with a price on their head so she was aware she'd probably end up with one on her own sooner or later.

Probably by HYDRA to pay her back for her infiltration. The bad guys were petty that way.

All he'd gotten for his little hissy fit was a set of rolled blue eyes.

"Oh no!" She muttered sarcastically. "We'll get stuck out here in the middle of nowhere perfectly safe where no one can safely sneak up and _kill us._ How tragic."

He didn't like that. He glowered at her and shook his head.

"You're missing my point!" He snapped back.

"And what is your point genius?" She questioned with a raised brow.

"We could _starve_ to death, or freeze to death." He muttered.

"Clint, we're surrounded by woodland so we have an endless supply of wood and we have weapons, we can hunt. We are not going to get stuck out here and we're not going to die, you're being dramatic. You're _the_ best archer in the world, don't tell me you couldn't hit something if we needed it." She didn't even care that he was glaring at her.

He muttered something about not wanting to shoot Bambi. She fought a smile, she wasn't all that big on the idea of hunting either.

"We're safe out here and right now that's all that matters." She for one was glad about the seclusion if she was going to be honest.

They needed somewhere safe to regroup, she hadn't even complained when he'd contacted his team and told them how to find this place if they too needed somewhere safe to run to because she happened to know a few of them personally and she'd rather they didn't die, she hadn't been able to reach most of her team yet and so she was more worried than she was willing to admit.

She'd been more than happy to accept anyone here that needed someplace safe to run to in order to figure out where the hell they went from here because they were in the same mess as they were so she didn't mind all that much as long as no one broke anything or pissed her off too much.

She wasn't exactly little miss social butterfly. She was glad though that she didn't have to answer SHIELD's stupid pages to come in for a medical check up anymore at least. The thought brought a grin to her lips. She had hated them and she'd been dealing with them now for 7 years. It was tiresome and she was happy to be free of them, at least until someone managed to figure out how to reform the whole thing from the rubble.

She knew that someone was working on it. Someone always was. Organisations like SHIELD didn't just roll over and die, shadowy government organisations had a nasty habit of fixing themselves and coming back bigger and more of a pain in the ass than ever before.

"I ain't dying in the snow, Birdie." He frowned at her then and shook his head.

She reached behind her for one of the cushions and threw it at his head. He was being dramatic and he did _not_ see the benefits of being out here. She rolled her eyes once again. He was really getting on her nerves tonight.

"You don't even see a _slight_ benefit to being out here?" She questioned with a smirk. "I mean, literally no one can burst in on us and there's a hot tub..." 

No one could complain about the noise either for that matter, well if he stopped pissing her off for long enough to get lucky anyway. Bobbi Morse was tightly wound, stressed out and craving relief but there was no way in hell she was going to do _anything_ with him if he insisted on being a pain. 

"So, you still gonna complain or are you gonna shut the hell up and see that there are advantages to it before all of your friends show up and seriously ruin our alone time?"

She watched the slow smirk that spread across his features then.

"You _might_ have a point..." He walked toward the back of the couch. "C'mere." 

He gestured and she rose a brow and studied him. She moved, standing up and walking around to stand in front of him. He still looked as handsome as he always had, Barton had always been the one man that made her weak and that she found undeniably sexy, other guys sure were aesthetically pleasing enough to her - like Hunter was - and she could appreciate the fact that they were good looking but they didn't have the same effect on her that Clint did. It had been merely a way to pass time and give her comfort in her weaker times.

It wasn't anything close to what she'd had with Clint and it never would be. She'd known that all along and so had Hunter which she supposed contributed largely - or maybe completely - toward their divorce. She felt bad for Hunter she truly did but Barton? Barton had a whole other effect on her and she _loathed_ him for it in her own way.

"What?" She breathed, trying expressly _not_ to give over to what she'd been craving now for days.

He didn't get to win that easily. She held herself stubbornly and he let out a small chuckle at her and shook his head. Reaching out to place one hand on her waist that slid around her back, he tugged her toward him and studied her. His other hand found her cheek.

"You're beautiful, I ever tell you that?" He spoke so very softly.

He had always been a sweet talker, she'd always known that about him but she never for even a second had developed a resistance to it though she wished she had. She hated the way that he could get past her defenses so easily. She hated the way that he could actually get to her so easily.

"You might've mentioned it, yeah." She replied.

She was fighting for composure and she hated that he could tell too. She tried to take a step back but he shook his head and bowed to kiss her. Any hope of control or composure fled right there and then. Both his hands moved cupping her ass as he lifted her up so that her legs were wrapped around his waist. No interruptions, wasn't that what she'd said? The last time they'd gotten close her phone had gone off. He reached into her back pocket and tossed her phone on the sofa, his following it seconds later.

He broke their kiss for a second.

"No phones."

She rolled her eyes but grinned anyway.

"Mm, fine fine." She murmured as she leaned forward to kiss him again as his arms slid over his shoulders.

She knew he had a point, they'd never get anywhere with absolutely anything if they took their phones because knowing someone's lousy timing smack in the middle one of them would get a call, she sighed at the thought but there was always the flip side that they could end up missing one of those life or death calls from one of their friends. This whole on the run thing was stressful. 

Thankfully she knew just how to relieve that stress.

Not once during their movement from the living room to her bedroom - yep, hers. She's told him he was sleeping in one of the other ones and _not_ with her which they both know wouldn't last - had either of them broke their kiss. It was almost like distance just wasn't acceptable and to both of them, it really wasn't. The last few days had both of them on edge. 

He was still her safe place to this day.

As he laid her on the bed, his hands made easy work of the buttons on her shirt as she felt his calloused hands run down her smooth skin, she shuddered lightly. She hadn't realised til that moment how much she'd missed his touch. No one could make him react the way that she did, no one quickened her heart like him, no one made her ache for more from a simple touch like he did. His lips slipped from hers, sliding down her jaw before nipping gently on the skin on her neck eliciting a sound out of her that brought a smirk to her lips.

He delighted in the fact that her body clearly still yearned for him. His lips slipped further down between her breasts before he glanced up at her, clearly displeased at the fabric barring his way, she obliged in removing it though and he continued his trail sliding over her breast to flick his tongue over her hardened nipple. He knew she loved that. She let out a small whimper before his hands slid to the button on her jeans and with careful movements, he tugged her jeans and her underwear over her hips. He knelt up next to her.

Taking in her form with awestruck eyes, Clint Barton let out a breathy laugh.

"I'm so fucking lucky." 

She rolled her eyes playfully at him, she could practically feel her body quiver under his touch. Damn him to the depths of whatever hell was out there. The look she shot him said quite simply _enough talking._ Happy enough to oblige, he parted her legs with a hand that ran down the inside of her leg moving slowly across her thigh before settling on her hip and he ran gentle circles over the skin. 

His head bowed and he parted the delicate folds of her with his tongue, immediately she gasped; her back arched as an involuntary response and she reached for the pillow behind her, her hand knotting in the fabric as she moaned breathlessly in response to every movement he made. Gradually he increased the pressure at an agonisingly slow pace determined to drive her as insane as he possibly could. 

It had been far too long since they'd last been anywhere near one another much less like _this_ and he wanted to draw it out for as long as he could; he'd missed everything from the softness of her skin to the very _taste_ of her and so, despite her protests he was indeed going to draw this out for as long as he possibly could.

Her moans regardless of his tantalisingly slow efforts became more and more urgent as he drove her slowly toward the edge he could tell she was craving, his tongue deftly moving over the tender mound as he slid two fingers inside of her and she cursed him with a moan that would've brought a smirk to his features was he not busy. The cries that broke her lips as his hand moved in tandem with his tongue told him that he was still just as good with his hands as he'd always been.

Her breath came quicker and quicker and she reached down to grab the hand rested against her hip with a loud cry as she tumbled over into her climax, when she was finished he lifted his head and smirked before he ran his tongue across his lips. 

"Still got it huh?" He teased and she let out a laugh.

"Pretty sure you know that already." 

She did _not_ need to give him the ego boost he already knew he'd just had. He stood then removing the remainder of his own clothing before he moved to hover over her and he pressed his lips to hers, lining up before he entered her; a gasp broke his lips as her warmth engulfed him and his hips met hers with smooth thrusts and lips that left hers only to slip down to her neck where he sucked on the tender skin between her neck and shoulder.

Feeling her heat as he drove into her over and over was enough to make him want to lose it there and then. Fuck, he'd missed her.

She cried out his name as he slipped his hand under her back to pull her into his body and he drove deeper, he could feel her shake and become more and more breathless as she fell over into another climax.

One hand moved to the headboard as he used it as leverage for his movement not that she minded the urgency or the intensity of his movements even slightly. His head becoming dizzyingly foggy and she dragged her nails down his back, leaning into his shoulder as she bit down on the skin riding out a crash of pleasure and he knew in that moment that there was no way at all he was going to be able to hold on any longer.

Both were close to a climax that came with a few more movements that washed over both of them, moving to lay beside her she moved to rest her head on his chest.

"Okay I might've missed that just a _little_ bit." She spoke before placing a kiss against the bare skin of his chest.

"Only a little, huh?" 

"Shut up, I'm tired and we need sleep." She hoped like hell that he didn't see the smile on her lips. 

But naturally he did.

"Hey." He picked up her hand and kissed it. "I still love you, you know that right?"

Bad timing. Very bad timing. She chewed on her bottom lip as she glanced up at him before releasing a sigh and she mulled over just getting up and leaving to clear her head but she knew that'd do no good, there was _literally_ nowhere you could go out here.

She still loved him too and she knew it. She always had and she was pretty damn sure he knew it too. 

"Can we just go to sleep please?" She'd deal with this in the morning.

Morning was good. Morning was hours away and hopefully by the time she woke up she'd be far more able to control her thoughts and she'd feel far less inclined to get swept up in the moment and admit to him how she really felt.

"Sure." He replied kissing her on the top of the head.

Good. 

Sleep was good.


	5. You were meant for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobbi and Clint have a heart to heart before Clint tells her that Steve Rogers is seeking sanctuary with them... Needless to say things are about to get a whole hell of a lot more complicated.

By the time morning rolled around, Bobbi was up at the crack of dawn but then she had trouble sleeping peacefully these days. She was never quite sure when things were going to go horribly wrong and all she could do was hope that they found a way to fix all of this so that they could find their way home safely but she knew too that they had a hell of a long way to go before then. HYDRA was a big and extensive organisation.

If only she knew that it was far worse than anything she could've imagined.

She really didn't like to cook all that much but it wasn't like she could just hop down to a bakery all the way out here and so she had no choice but to make food for herself. It wasn't that she _couldn't_ cook because she could. She had to learn because she lived alone after her divorce - both of them - and she'd lived alone long before she'd even gotten married to begin with and so she was perfectly self sufficient it was more that most of the time she was too busy to be bothered to cook at all.

She had decided on pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage and toast. She was glad that she could at least get supplies out here. It helped being friends with people all around the world at times. Bobbi Morse wasn't the social butterfly type but she could be quite charming when she wanted to be. Charming was useful in situations like this. Supply runs weren't easy out here so it was an advantage to have as much help as she possibly could.

By the time Clint meandered in, she'd already finished cooking and she laid everything out on the table turning to look at him as she shook her head, his disheveled appearance was actually cute and endearing and she hated the way that she remembered waking up to him walking in looking just like that, sleepy and yet so handsome with eyes full of love when he looked at her just like now.

"Y'know trying to wake you is like trying to raise the dead." She grinned as she spoke. "I made breakfast."

Clint's eyes swept the buffet that she'd laid out and he blinked trying to wake up from his sleepy daze and he made his way over to the coffee machine to pour himself a cup holding up a single finger to tell her to wait a moment and that he wasn't being ignorant, right now he couldn't think straight. His mind was still in a sleepy haze. He'd downed the cup and placed it back on the side before he shook his head in an effort to actually shock himself into waking up.

"I can see that, when'd you get so good at cooking?" He spoke playfully. She narrowed her eyes at him and looked like she was about ready to hit him.

"Heeey relax birdie, I'm just messing."

She still rolled her eyes dramatically at him before she walked over to sit down though to get something to eat. He joined her almost immediately and he reached out to hold her hand, bringing it to his lips with a gentle kiss against her knuckles.

"Good morning by the way. And thanks for breakfast, it looks amazing."

Clint had always loved his food though he didn't cook all that much when he did he was really good at it. It was one of his completely understated talents. Barton might spend most of his life living off of takeout food but at least when he had company he bothered to cook something proper... At least once in a while. It depended on the kind of day he was having at the time. Good day meant he'd make something, bad day meant it was order in and whatever beer he had in the fridge at the time.

It was something she'd gotten quite used to when they were dating... The multiple times that had happened. She knew his ups and downs better than almost anyone else. On the good days for example he'd be wearing jeans and a t-shirt when you turned up at his apartment and on bad days it was sweats and a t-shirt and he'd be looking tired and completely like he just wanted to sleep but still glad for the company regardless. 

His favorite thing on either side of his days was pulling her into his arms on the couch and just holding her until they both fell asleep. She liked those nights more than she'd admit even when they were pretending to be friends. 

Pretending was about all they did when it came to those times. They didn't ever master the art of actually _being_ friends. They;d always be - and had always been - more. She hadn't ever stopped being in love with him the whole time she'd known him and he knew she loved him too. He'd always known but he'd never press her on the fact.

She had that beautiful smile on her lips when he kissed her knuckles. The one that he knew meant that he'd made her happy even if she wouldn't admit it. This time though he was wrong. This time she glanced at him and spoke. 

"Promise me you'll never change?" 

"You mean promise me I won't stop loving you?" He could read between the lines of what she was saying.

He'd known her long enough to read between the lines of what she was saying and pick up on the undertones of the things she was too _afraid_ to say. She nodded her head despite herself. He could see that it wasn't easy for her to admit what she was really asking him.

"Not ever, not for a day, not for an hour, not for a minute, not even for a second. I will _never_ as long as my heart is still beating stop loving you Bobbi Morse." He wasn't capable of not loving her. 

He'd love her now, he'd love her tomorrow, next month, next year and forever and he was sure about it too. She was the love of his life and there wasn't a damn thing in this world that'd change that no matter what happened, how hard it got or whatever life threw at them he'd be hers for the rest of his life. 

"I love you." She whispered softly. "I'll always love you."

He frowned, his brow wrinkled softly as he studied her and he reached for her hand again. He looked confused as he tried to work out if she was saying goodbye, if she was rejecting this - whatever this was - between the two of them, he hoped that she wasn't. He hoped that she wasn't telling him that she didn't want this or want him. 

"Bobs, are you uh... Breaking up with me? If you can break up whatever we have?" He sounded hurt.

Naturally he sounded hurt but she breathed out a gentle sigh and shook her head.

"I'm saying that I love you. I'm saying that I wanna give us a chance but I can't do that if it's gonna end bad again. Promise me, promise me that it won't end bad again and we can do this. If you can't promise me, if you can't promise me and mean it this time I need this to stop. I need to know right now if you're gonna end up deciding you can't do this again because I can't take that. I can't do it again." She couldn't have her heart broken again and he could see it in her eyes.

Two divorces had been rough on Bobbi Morse. 

"I won't. I will _never_ break your heart again. I screwed up a hell of a lot in the past but that's just it, that's back then and not now. We've all been through hell and I know that you're all I want, you're all I've ever wanted and I will love you til the day I die if you give me the chance. This is us, Bobs. This is us and I promise you I won't pull that shit again. I promise. I promise I will never let a damn thing hurt you again." Him or anything else. He'd die before he let anything hurt her.

He was earnest, sincere and she could see it in his eyes that he meant every damn word and so she nodded her head then. 

"Then we can do this." She needed him to promise first before she truly opened up to him, sex was one thing but... Letting him close? That was another entirely.

"You're an idiot." She stated with a smirk on her lips. "But you're _my_ idiot." 

"Always." He grinned at her, that lopsided boyish grin he always had that made her heart race.

Ah hell Barton, how the hell did he always manage to get through whatever walls she tried to put between the two of them? He needed her and she needed him, they were incomplete without one another and they both knew it. Some people were meant to be together, some souls - it seemed - were pulled together like magnets and there wasn't a damn force in the world that could pull them apart and make them stay apart.

They always drifted back to one another however impossible that might've seemed. Life was chaotic right now and everything that they'd known had burned down around them while they tried to find their way through the flames of the life that they'd once known and the stability both of them had clinged to without realising it but he'd found her and they were facing it all together no matter what. His promise meant everything to her, it was nice to know this time that it would work out.

She was tired of being torn apart by people that didn't know what they wanted, herself included in that list of course. She'd torn herself apart more than once because she hadn't been able to work out what it was she'd really wanted and so she'd settled for the nearest comfort she could find only to discover that it was as big a mistake as she'd always known it would be. 

They ate the rest of breakfast with playful jibes, aimless conversations, jokes and laughs and it was everything. To her, it was everything and it was just what she'd needed without even realising it. She didn't know what the hell was to come and neither did he but they both promised one thing: None of them would ever have to face it alone.

* * *

It was about midday, they were sat watching a movie in front of a roaring fire which Clint was very happy about; he was still displeased by this whole _surrounded by snow_ thing so he seemed to be quite fond of the fire and the warmth from it. She couldn't help but laugh and roll her eyes when he complained about it and she reminded him that no matter how much he bitched about it this was the safest place they could possibly be. That didn't stop him narrowing his eyes at her though.

He might not be pleased about it but he was well aware of the fact that she was right, this was remote enough to be safe. It wasn't easy accessible and that was probably a good thing, no one could sneak up on them and kill them.

He was about to get up to make some hot cocoa when Clint Barton glanced downward at the ringing cell phone in his hand and he released a dramatic sigh. He hated it when people called him. He flipped the phone over in his hand so he could see the screen.

Steve Rogers.

Answering it, he pressed the phone to his ear as he listened to Cap explain that he'd gotten a message from Natasha informing them that if they needed a safe place to go, going to Bobbi's place to find Clint was their best bet and so with three others in tow, Steve Rogers explained that they needed somewhere to hold up that was safe. He was glad that his friend was safe and the fact that Steve had received the message from Natasha meant that she was, too. If she hadn't contacted him there must be a reason but it also spoke of her intent to find her way out here too eventually.

That was good.

"Yeah sure, it's fine. We'll see you guys when you get here." He spoke as he turned to look at Bobbi.

He looked apologetic as he ended the call and she released a sigh and studied him with folded arms.

"Alright, out with it. What's going on?" 

"Steve Rogers, Sharon Carter and two others are coming here. Nat texted them the coordinates I sent her. Steve says they need somewhere safe."

She listened to him speak and she simply offered him a smile and nodded her head. She knew Sharon Carter, she was a good agent and someone that she could consider a friend. They'd worked together a few times in the past and she was glad to know that she was safe, it surprised her to know that she was with Steve Rogers but that was a story that no doubt she'd get to find out sooner rather than later. Bobbi stood up and looked at Clint.

"Then we'd better get things ready." She stated. He nodded in agreement.

It wouldn't be too hard to get the house ready but Bobbi still pottered around making sure that the rooms had linen anyway, she was always bad at this whole house-thing much less the host thing. She wasn't used to having a great deal of company but then the world hadn't ended for a bunch of spies and wayward heroes before so that might have been why. She was more than happy to open up her home to those people because they were allies. Friends. People that meant a lot to Clint and someone that meant a lot to her, too.

It was something that at least comforted her, more people were still alive and that meant that there was still a chance that others were, too. She hadn't heard a damn thing from Melinda in day and that was worrying her but she knew that she was more than capable of taking care of herself but it didn't stop her worrying. She was a friend.

She'd been like family to Bobbi and she didn't have a whole hell of a lot of that. She was glad that her brother wasn't involved with SHIELD and she'd be damned if she was going to let anyone turn him into a target to get to her. Her brother could take care of himself thankfully... And Frank, well anyone that was dumb enough to go after him deserved whatever they got for it. 

She knew everyone she loved would be safe now it was time for her to make sure Clint could say the same after all that was what you did for someone you loved. If opening up her home was what he needed to protect his friends, she'd be more than happy to do that.


End file.
